A photo popped up on my news feed this week. It was a picture of myself and Thea just a few weeks old.
My first thought was how precious Thea was and how fast she’d grown. I then went on to look at myself and I thought God I look older now then I did with a newborn baby and little sleep….
I actually went as far to comment how I looked far better in the picture than I did now, to which my mom replied. ‘But you’ve just spent the last few weeks writing, and Thea’s teething and you’ve had no sleep’
She was right. Her comment made me stop and reassess my negative thoughts.
I do look more worn out at the moment, but I do a lot! And I’ve been through a lot.
A year ago all I had on my plate was a newborn, which while hard, it was one thing. The housework, school run, and cooking were being done by my family. If I needed a nap in the day I had one. Boy those days were good! Nothing but newborn snuggles and days on the sofa while everyone else ran around after me! I was so lucky to have such awesome family that helped.
Fast forward to now and I’m a single mum to 4, trying to write full time, while keeping a family of 7 fed! My plate is full, and I’m not complaining, I’m happy, even though I’m a little tired. I guess I’m writing it all down to acknowledge it for myself. As a reminder for the next time I jump so quickly to think negatively about myself.
When someone says ‘wow you’re a busy mama’ or ‘gosh I’ve no idea how you juggle 4 kids and work, I’m not going to feel uncomfortable and say in my head ‘I’m not as great as you think.’ I’m going to smile, and think ‘yup I’ve got this, I’m doing great!’
We live in a world where it’s so easy to get caught up in the idea of perfection. We judge each others and ourselves so easily.
Going forwards I’m going to work on my negative thoughts, and next time one pops into my head, I’m going to remember, I’m a kick ass author, and awesome mom. So bugger off negative thoughts!
Until next time xo
1 year ago ⬇️⬇️⬇️
Now (September 2018)
Rachel M Raithby 