The sun warms my face, the smell of jasmine fills my lungs, and I watch my children play. There’s a tightness in my chest, a churning in my belly. I’m light and heavy all at the same time, and as I breath in a deep, shaky breath, I know. I know this feeling. It comes to me more and more as time passes. Happiness.
For a split second in time I don’t fear the monster in my dreams, the man I ran from. In those moments I’m free. It’s bliss. It’s what I live for. And with each moment my battered soul heals. With every smile, with every innocent squeal of laughter I grow stronger.
I know there’s a fight on the horizon. Most likely the most important of my life, but as the light returns to my children’s eyes I swallow my terror, and soak up these moments knowing I was right. Knowing there is no hill too high to climb, if it means freedom. If it means their happiness.
I’ll push through fear. I’ll battle every hurdle. For freedom, for happiness, there is no other choice.
Until next time xo
Rachel M Raithby 